Im Thankful for...

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Today i ate and ate some more in Robbins, NC and at my Aunt Cindy's house and i saw all my family and extended family at both places. I love my family and i am so VERY thankful that i have such a great one!! I thought alot today about people who dont have families to celebrate with during the holidays or families that cannot spend that much to feed their families or travel to see them due to the economy. It really make me feel that much more thankful that i have what i do. It is really humbling when i think about it hard enough. Ashley and Matteson where at both places and it is so great to be able to call him my brother in law and Ashley's husband. At Robbins there were a bunch of pictures that people were looking at in years pass and just seeing how everyone has changed and grown up is shocking to me and funny at the same time. There were pictures of all of us before marriage, children, other boyfriends, and thinner...loll!!! It just doesnt seem like it was that long ago when we were just younger and lived different lives.

The other best part of the Thanksgiving traveling was to listen to my Twilight soundtrack and my new Taylor Swift CD's.. I love sitting in my car and just listening to music on the radio or in my CD player. It is really relaxing to me and makes to enjoy the ride that much better. BTW: i would HIGHLY advice to get both CDs they are worth it!! :) It was such a beautiful day today.. it was warmer than it has been and the sun was shinning!! I love every second of it!! I wish that there were more days like that sometimes.

Now I am just sitting in my apartment chilling and letting all the turkey and dressing settle from the day. Just thinking about how i want to end the year of 2008 and begin the new one. I still have a month left to make a decision... i hoep that i can make a great one!! Good nite and Happy Thanksgiving to All!!! (Gobble, Gobble)

The Movie of the Year and the HOttest vampire around!!

oh EDWARD!!!

okay...okay i gave in and went with some friends and saw TWLIGHT. OMG!! i watched the movie not really knowing what to expect other than..Edward. I started reading the second book (new moon) and stopped due to my schedule made me stop. lol!! i totally have a new appriciation from the series after seeing the movie last night. I have never been so turned on in a movie either... Edward is so mysterious and romantic and dangerous yet gentle with Bella. It just makes it hard for me to understand how a fictional charactor can make me really think about a current rekationship that i am in. The way that Edward would do anything without hesitation to protect her is so romantic and aahhh!! (TO MANY COUSIN ABBY... I AM GOING TO ARM WRESTLE YOU FOR EDWARD...LOL!!) I am going to see the movie again with a girlfriend on Sunday and i really cannot wait. I really think that i am going to like reading the books now because i have faces for all the charactors in them. I guess only true love between total opposites only exist with a human and a vampire written in a book for teenagers... that is really sad to me.

After seeing the movie my relationship with Tucker was all that i could think about... I was about to start crying with the disappointment that came over me at that very moment. I want my Edward like i am sure that every other female wants in her life. Tucker will not even openly tell me that he loves me.. he mumbles it or will say it really fast so that if he is around other people they will not hear him. It just has no meaning to me when he says it like that... like as if he was telling his sister not his girlfriend. It really hurts me and all week we have done nothing but fuss and fight non stop and i am over fighting... he also never wants to make effort to see me. The first thing that he said to me today was.. i am not driving to your house tonight so if you want to see me your coming to my house, but i dont want to go to his dad's house and watch television. I can do that at home without spending the gas money. Truely i know what i have to do BUT i am scared and question everything that i do. I talk about Robert and mines past than i do me and Tuckers present. i dont even think that i could list 10 things that i absolutly love about him. It is really sad...especially to me. This girl at work confides in me about her realtionship that she battles with too now.. i love that she wants me to help but i keep telling her that i am probably the last person on the planet that she should get relationship advice from. We were talking today at work about our current relationships and our past are somewhat similar. The talk was about how we have been in LOVE with guys and how much it hurt to get over that and yet we will never forget how that feels and the risk that we take we you open up to someone in that way. Our questions would be is it better to feel secure in a relationship (finacially) and think that at some point that you can have your love bought and to keep your guard up and not be hurt, OR on the other hand let the walls of steel down and open our hearts and take the risk of being in love instead of just loving... we both battle with it. Oh Edward!! Where are you and how do i get there and find you??

Two more weeks of school left.. continued

okay sorry...class was calling and i had to walk clear across campus. it is about 30 something degrees today which makes it a chilly day for a walk. I have so much to do in the next week or so... my brain is on overload and all I keep thinking about it break and the new semester coming up in Jan. I am not doing aweful but i am not doing wonderful either.. i dont know the more projects that i do and papers that i write i get more and more frustrated with everything. I also took my state exam again this past Saturday and i just dont even want to talk with anyone about it because i am scared that i am going to get my hopes up again and do bad and not get my required three points that i need. I need to pass it though or i am going to be in school forever and at Bliss forever too. (which i hope NEVER happens) In about 6 weeks i will find out and i am pretty positive that i will post good or bad response to everything. I have been thinking about taking some sign language classes which i think will be really interesting next semester and two literature classes... that is it so far. I just really need to reach that next step with my life before i go crazy... plus i am sure that the government will cut me off after so much money has been given anyways...

Two more weeks of school left...OMG!!!

I FINALLY GOT MOVED IN!!! YEH!!! i am so happy about being in a new place and a place that i can call my own (truly)!! I think that Chloe is liking it okay too. She doesnt really understand why Grandma and Paw paw Beal are not close by but i think that she like great-Grandma Jenkins :) We had some soup last night at Grandma Jenkins last night and i had to get on to Grandma about feeding Chloe the whole time...lol!! Grandma said that she just could not resist her cute lil face. lol!! That soup was goooood too! It was my favorite; veggie soup. Yummm. I will have to put some pictures up when i get some more boxes out of the way... you never realized how much stuff you have until you move. I hope to be able to sale some stuff i dont use anymore on ebay so that i can get some money for it. $$$ I just cannot believe that we got everything moved in on Saturday... i still have groceries and things to get out of the old place but for the most part it is all out. I cannot wait to let people see it! i need to have a party... a small one of course...gotta go to class will be continued.

just alittle UPDATE action...

I just thought since i finished up on some homework that i would leave an update on everything going on...which is alot of nothing much. I have been painting the ceiling at the apartment and the walls too. I swear that i will NEVER paint another inch of anything where i live again. It has been nothing but a headache and i dont care if it cost a million dollars i will figure out a way to pay it if that means that i dont have to touch another paintbrush. lol!!! (AAAHHH!!) But the place is looking good if i do say so myself. I am dying to get in there though. I have got my furniture paid off and for the most part (besides groceries) packed up and the past week i have been living out of the boxes because i thought that i would have been in there by now. I am going to try to finish stop painting tomorrow and then i have to figure out how i am going to get grandma's furniture out. Today though i did have to get ugly on somebody's butt. The place that i bought my furniture from was trying to over charge me for my furniture and i found the same thing at another place for WAY cheaper than what the place i got it from orignally. I had to talk to the owner and i was really nervous on how it was going to go... it when well i got what i wanted with out forking out anymore money. YEAH!! my momma taught me well; although i think that i handled it alittle better that what mom would have... she would have really been loud and probably would have made an ass of herself. I am also getting ready to start another semster at school and i am hoping that i get into my program i take my exam next weekend and i am really nervous. I just hope that i pass and get in to the special education program. Me and Tucker are going to go to Asheville next weekend and i cannot wait!! it is a much needed vacation!!! We are going to go to the Biltmore.. i have never been. So i think that we are really going to have a GREAT time :)!! Anyways that is all for now.. will keep you updated if anything else comes up. Good Nite and Lots of Love!