Sunday's first...hopefully not last

Well today was the day... i went to church. Me and Tucker went to church this morning at a church that his sister goes to. It is a non-denominational church in Ramsuer and it was not what i expected. The church was a prodominatly black church and thing got crazy from time to time BUT the sermine was really great!! The preacher was really great at speaking and I totally understood what he was saying. He was using pregancy as a metaphor for finding Christ and God and the love of both of them. It was a very uplifting idea to me, and i could relate. I really enjoyed the church minus people falling out on the floor and being covered with sheets... that was really odd but over all it made me feel really good. I even went to Wal mart and went Christmas shopping and felt good about it and the spirit of Christmas was shining through me all over. It was just really great!! Then i went to my friend Drew's house and ate dinner with me and some of his buds. We watched Sex and the City the movie and i was great!! I think that it is the BEST movie ever!! i love all the fashion and the great times that they share together!! Luv It!!! I am also done with school (for the semester) and i feel so free!! lol!! I am alittle scared about seeing my grades but I know that I did not do that bad it is just my nerves. lol!! :) About my walk too... it was freezing cold the high was about 30 degrees and it felt great to get a work out and for a great cause like AIDS. Between me and my other 5 friends we raised 210.00 to donate. It was fun too!! We just gooft off the whole time and we were trying to keep warm. lol!! The rest of the day i just felt really good about everything and good things happened to me. It was really weird....i would highly suggest to do as many walks as possible. Christmas is coming and I have been continuing to think about what it is that I want to change or improve on in my life for the next year.... i will let you know what i think about

making some changes

Well i have decided to make some changes in my life... i hope for the better. I made the move to my own place and now I want to change parts of me and better the community. At work we have been doing alot of charity events to raise money, collect canned food, and this weekend some people from work are going to be getting up on a Sunday and walk for AIDS in greensboro. I am really excited about it because you make whatever donation you can, register for the walk, and then you walk/run a three mile area. I just think that it would be a great way to get active and spend some time with friends. I dont know anyone with AIDS but i know that it is a growing problem everywhere and some scientist are trying to find a cure and I feel that if I can help with finding that cure then it would make me feel great about my contribution. At work we also raise money in a Cut-a-thon for Victory Junction Gang Camp. At work we raised about 1700.00 to the camp so that they can buy a horse for the disabled children. I just makes me feel really good about helping people that are a a disadvantage in life
and i know that alot of times I and other take for granted our health and oppertunities that we have avalible to us.

Another thing that me and Tucker are going to try to do everyweek is got to church on Sundays...no matter what. We both decided that is could help us and our relationship and help us with other problems that we both have and suffer with as individuals. I am actually really excited about going!! I mean already pray every night before i go to bed and thank God for everything that I have in my life, so why not go to church and show God that I am thankful too. I was really suprised when Tucker agreed to go to and he even said that he had been thinking about it too, but didnt say anything because he thought that I would think that it was stupid. (Not even the case) So Sunday after this Sunday (since i am doing the walk) we are both going to church. Well I hope that it is good weather on Sunday and we have a blast (which i know we will!!). Have a great rest of the week!! MUAH!!

Im Thankful for...

Happy Thanksgiving!!! Today i ate and ate some more in Robbins, NC and at my Aunt Cindy's house and i saw all my family and extended family at both places. I love my family and i am so VERY thankful that i have such a great one!! I thought alot today about people who dont have families to celebrate with during the holidays or families that cannot spend that much to feed their families or travel to see them due to the economy. It really make me feel that much more thankful that i have what i do. It is really humbling when i think about it hard enough. Ashley and Matteson where at both places and it is so great to be able to call him my brother in law and Ashley's husband. At Robbins there were a bunch of pictures that people were looking at in years pass and just seeing how everyone has changed and grown up is shocking to me and funny at the same time. There were pictures of all of us before marriage, children, other boyfriends, and thinner...loll!!! It just doesnt seem like it was that long ago when we were just younger and lived different lives.

The other best part of the Thanksgiving traveling was to listen to my Twilight soundtrack and my new Taylor Swift CD's.. I love sitting in my car and just listening to music on the radio or in my CD player. It is really relaxing to me and makes to enjoy the ride that much better. BTW: i would HIGHLY advice to get both CDs they are worth it!! :) It was such a beautiful day today.. it was warmer than it has been and the sun was shinning!! I love every second of it!! I wish that there were more days like that sometimes.

Now I am just sitting in my apartment chilling and letting all the turkey and dressing settle from the day. Just thinking about how i want to end the year of 2008 and begin the new one. I still have a month left to make a decision... i hoep that i can make a great one!! Good nite and Happy Thanksgiving to All!!! (Gobble, Gobble)

The Movie of the Year and the HOttest vampire around!!

oh EDWARD!!!

okay...okay i gave in and went with some friends and saw TWLIGHT. OMG!! i watched the movie not really knowing what to expect other than..Edward. I started reading the second book (new moon) and stopped due to my schedule made me stop. lol!! i totally have a new appriciation from the series after seeing the movie last night. I have never been so turned on in a movie either... Edward is so mysterious and romantic and dangerous yet gentle with Bella. It just makes it hard for me to understand how a fictional charactor can make me really think about a current rekationship that i am in. The way that Edward would do anything without hesitation to protect her is so romantic and aahhh!! (TO MANY COUSIN ABBY... I AM GOING TO ARM WRESTLE YOU FOR EDWARD...LOL!!) I am going to see the movie again with a girlfriend on Sunday and i really cannot wait. I really think that i am going to like reading the books now because i have faces for all the charactors in them. I guess only true love between total opposites only exist with a human and a vampire written in a book for teenagers... that is really sad to me.

After seeing the movie my relationship with Tucker was all that i could think about... I was about to start crying with the disappointment that came over me at that very moment. I want my Edward like i am sure that every other female wants in her life. Tucker will not even openly tell me that he loves me.. he mumbles it or will say it really fast so that if he is around other people they will not hear him. It just has no meaning to me when he says it like that... like as if he was telling his sister not his girlfriend. It really hurts me and all week we have done nothing but fuss and fight non stop and i am over fighting... he also never wants to make effort to see me. The first thing that he said to me today was.. i am not driving to your house tonight so if you want to see me your coming to my house, but i dont want to go to his dad's house and watch television. I can do that at home without spending the gas money. Truely i know what i have to do BUT i am scared and question everything that i do. I talk about Robert and mines past than i do me and Tuckers present. i dont even think that i could list 10 things that i absolutly love about him. It is really sad...especially to me. This girl at work confides in me about her realtionship that she battles with too now.. i love that she wants me to help but i keep telling her that i am probably the last person on the planet that she should get relationship advice from. We were talking today at work about our current relationships and our past are somewhat similar. The talk was about how we have been in LOVE with guys and how much it hurt to get over that and yet we will never forget how that feels and the risk that we take we you open up to someone in that way. Our questions would be is it better to feel secure in a relationship (finacially) and think that at some point that you can have your love bought and to keep your guard up and not be hurt, OR on the other hand let the walls of steel down and open our hearts and take the risk of being in love instead of just loving... we both battle with it. Oh Edward!! Where are you and how do i get there and find you??